Special: McDonald's Breakfast Items

Via one of my occupations, we were provided with breakfast food from McDonald's all last week.  So, in a small departure from standard cold cereal, I'll post my reviews about a some of the items I tried, starting this week with the...

Sausage Burrito

Nutrition Info: Calories-300; Fat-16g; Cholesterol-115mg; Sodium-830mg; Carbohydrates-26g; Fiber-1g; Sugar-2g; Protein-12g

The image here from the McDonald's website is highly idealized, and I'm sorry I didn't have a camera handy for the burrito I ate.  First it should be noted that this is tiny, about five inches long and about one inch in diameter.  The tortilla was the best part of this thing; it was soft and chewy like a flour tortilla ought to be.  By mistake or not, there wasn't any cheese on mine, but I'm sure it's the same slice of processed American cheese that goes on all their items.  The egg(s?) was a flat yellow strip with green and red squares of bell peppers.  Unfortunately, the bell pepper was the only apparent seasoning.  While this may singe more northeastern tongues, all it did for my southwest-trained palette was add an unwelcome sweetness to what ought to be zesty.  The sausage itself could've just been leftover hamburger for all the spice it carried.  The burrito did come with a packet of McDonald's brand picante sauce; squishing out, it had the texture of a fruit jelly but fortunately enough spice to make the burrito finishable.  Pardon the TMI, but like all bad mexican food, it's trip through my digestive tract was short and swift.  There are so many other items on the menu that will do less harmful things to your body and taste buds, there is absolutely no reason to ever pay for this.

Final Grade: D-

Chocolate Cheerios

Cheerios are a classic, despite being very plain.  Cheerios are so plain, overprotective mothers let their toddlers snack on Cheerios.  That said, almost everyone I've ever asked about it agrees that they almost always add something to their cheerios: sliced fruit, honey, or three table-spoons of pure cane sugar.  Well, General Mills understands, and since everything is better with chocolate, we now have Chocolate Cheerios.  

The Facts:

Ingredients: Whole Grain Corn, Sugar, Corn Meal, Corn Syrup, Whole Grain Oats, Canola and/or Rice Bran Oil, Cocoa Processed with Alali, Color Added, Salt, Dried Corn Syrup, Corn Bran, Barley Malt Extract, Trisodium Phosphate, Vanillin, Vitamin E (mixed tocopherols) and BHT Added to Preserve Freshness.

Notable Nutrition Info (per 3/4 cup dry): Calories: 100; Total Fat: 1g; Sodium: 170mg; Potassium: 60mg; Carbohydrates: 23g; Protein: 1g.  The complete Nutrition Facts can be found here.

So how was it?

Not bad.  This is definitely the standard Cheerios recipe mixed with some cocoa and a sugary glaze.  There are dark- and light-colored pieces, but trying each alone doesn't really reveal why since they all taste about the same.  The glaze gives the pieces a glossy sheen, also different from the matte tan of plain Cheerios.  The texture matches regular Cheerios, including the crunchiness that lasts most of the way through the bowl without becoming too mushy to finish.  The chocolate flavor is very light compared to other chocolate cereals like General Mills' Cocoa-Puffs. 

So was it worth it?

The chocolate is probably too light for kids, who would probably ask for the box with an orange cuckoo bird.  For adult palettes (the ones the box art seems marketed to), the lighter chocolate flavor doesn't overpower the oat and corn of the original Cheerio.  Still, like original Cheerios I don't think it's quite right alone; some sliced strawberries or a banana would perfectly top this off.   

Final Grade: B

King Vitamin

My father, frugal man that he was, used to bring home King Vitamin from the discount stores he liked to shop at.  I remember it was disappointing so far as cereals went: not very sweet, not very crunchy, it tasted like cardboard and there was no toy inside.  Years later, have my tastes evolved to appreciate it, or will it be the same nostalgic letdown?

The Facts:

Ingredients: CORN FLOUR, SUGAR, OAT FLOUR, SALT, COCONUT OIL, BROWN SUGAR, SODIUM ASCORBATE, VITAMIN E ACETATE, REDUCED IRON, YELLOW 5, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, NIACINAMIDE, ZINC OXIDE, YELLOW 6, VITAMIN D3, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE, FOLIC ACID, RIBOFLAVIN, VITAMIN B12.

Notable Nutrition Info (per 1 & 1/2 cup dry): Calories: 120; Total Fat: 1g; Sodium: 260mg; Potassium: 85mg; Carbohydrates: 26g; Protein: 2g.  The complete Nutrition Facts can be found here.

Vitamins (given in daily percentages): A 20%; C 20%; D 10%; E 10%; Thiamin 25%; Riboflavin 25%; Niacin 25%; B6 25%; Folic Acid 100%; B12 25%.

So how was it?

From beginning to end, this stuff is awful.  Dry, it begins with the corn meal-brown sugar flavor of Quaker's flagship cereal Cap'n Crunch, but that soon disperses into a dark "vitaminy" aftertaste that will not leave.  In milk, the large surface area made by the crown-shape and hole in the middle cause it to turn to mush almost instantly.

So was it worth it?

Oh, no, no way, never again.  I still have the aftertaste in my mouth and my wife won't kiss me until it's gone.  I also ended up dumping the bottom half of the bowl because the sogginess, like the aftertaste, was way too overwhelming.  Now, it does have a lot of vitamins, but if you feel the need for a supplement it would be better to have a regular non-disgusting cereal and take a vitamin pill.  This is a cereal that belongs in the back of the discount stores and ought only to be used against one's enemies.

Final Grade: F

Cap'n Crunch's Halloween Crunch

It's mid-September, so naturally everyone's mind is on Halloween.  While wandering through Walmart, I happened upon "Halloween Crunch" (next to discounted boxes of "Baseball Crunch".  The box described its contents as, "a great tasting combination of crunchy biscuits and ghostly shapes that transform the milk to green."  Of course I had to get it!

Orange Juice not included.

The Facts:

Ingredients: CORN FLOUR, SUGAR, OAT FLOUR, BROWN SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, SALT, SUNFLOUR OIL, SODIUM CITRATE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, STRAWBERRY JUICE CONCENTRATE, YELLOW 5, NIACINAMIDE, MALIC ACID, REDUCED IRON, ZINC OXIDE, YELLOW 6, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE, BHT (A PRESERVATIVE), BLUE 1, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID  RED 40.

Notable Nutrition Info (per 3/4 cup dry): Calories: 100; Total Fat: 1.5g; Sodium: 190mg; Potassium: 50mg; Carbohydrates: 22g; Protein: 1g.  The complete Nutrition Facts can be found here.

So how was it?

The Cap'n Crunch pieces are the standard Cap'n Crunch we're all familiar with.  The ghost-shaped pieces are orange-colored crunch berries and are "ghost-shaped" as long as you count amorphous and variable in your definition of "ghost-shaped".  After the milk is added, the ghosts sprout dark green spots, apparently where the green dye is kept.  The ghosts went soggy quickly, and so like real ghosts lost their form and substance.

Ghosts?

So was it worth it?

Only as a seasonal novelty.  The green dye didn't make the ghosts very appetizing and everything turned soggy within five minutes.  If you or your kids can wolf down the cereal faster than that, you might not notice, but then it takes at least that long for the milk to turn green-ish; again, not appetizing.  Unless a kid screaming and kicking for you to pull it off the shelf and into your cart, pass it up for real Crunch Berries.

Green?

Final Grade: D (for disappointment)

Quisp

This saucer-shaped corn & oat cereal rose to legendary status by its nostalgic space-alien mascot and sparseness of its availability.  Super Target stores now have a limited stock, so I decided to find out if Quisp lives up to its legend.

The Facts:
Ingredients: CORN FLOUR, SUGAR, OAT FLOUR, BROWN SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, SALT, NIACINAMIDE, REDUCED IRON, ZINC OXIDE, YELLOW 5, YELLOW 6, THIAMIN MONONITRATE, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE, BHT (A PRESERVATIVE), RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID.


Notable Nutrition Info: Calories: 100; Total Fat: 1.5g; Sodium: 0mg; Potassium: 200mg; Carbohydrates: 25g; Protein: 1g The complete "Nutrition Facts" can be found here.

So how was it?

Quisp is Cap'n Crunch made into circles rather than squares.  The cereal formula is of corn and oat with brown sugar is exactly the same, as well as the color and general texture.  The "flying saucer" shape chews easier than the dense squares of Cap'n Crunch, and while this may lead to earlier sogginess, the cereal retained it's crunch to the end.

So was it worth it?
Yes it was, though Quisp's primary flaw is one shared with its square cousin.  Cap'n Crunch has always had spin-offs, such as Crunch Berries and Peanut Butter Crunch, for a reason - though sweet and tasty, the brown sugar & cornmeal flavor becomes monotonous and via sensory adaptation savor is dulled.  Being the same recipe as Cap'n Crunch, choosing between the two comes down to personal preference about the shape and the density: Cap'n Crunch's (relatively) dense squares or Quisp's lighter saucers. I prefer the saucers.

Final Grade: A-

Kellogg's Cinnabon cereal

Typically, the word "Cinnabon™" means a soft and sticky cinnamon roll and that I'm killing time in either an airport or a shopping mall.  The good people at Kellogg's have now licensed the "Cinnabon™" name to bring that experience to the kitchen table.

The Facts:

• Ingredients: CORN MEAL, SUGAR, CINNAMON TOPPING (SUGAR, FRUCTOSE, DEXTROSE, CINNAMON, CARDAMON, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR), WHOLE OAT FLOUR, WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL†, SALT, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C), NIACINAMIDE, REDUCED IRON, RED #40, YELLOW #5, ZINC OXIDE, BLUE #1, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), BHT (PRESERVATIVE), YELLOW #6, RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), VITAMIN A PALMITATE, FOLIC ACID, VITAMIN D, VITAMIN B12.† LESS THAN 0.5g TRANS FAT PER SERVING
• Notable Nutrition Info (per dry cup): Calories:120; Total Fat: 2g; Sodium: 115mg; Potassium: 40mg; Carbohydrates: 25g; Protein: 2g; The complete "Nutrition Facts" can be found here.

So how was it?

The spiral "cinnamon-roll" shape of the cereal appears stamped or molded and is nowhere nearly as well defined in shape as the box art.  The pieces have a mottled brown color and a sparkly sheen from the sugar and "cinnamon topping" (see ingredients list above). Unlike an actual dense and heavy Cinnabon cinnamon roll, the cereal is porous and light.

With milk and in the mouth, Cinnabon cereal has the flavor of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with the texture of Cap'n Crunch.  The cinnamon flavor, though not overpowering, dominates over the sugar and

corn-oat-wheat base.  Since I'm not a huge fan of cinnamon myself, it's almost a deal-breaker.  The crunchiness itself held up throughout the entire bowl, with minimal sogginess at the end (very unlike a gooey cinnamon roll, but then again, who wants a gooey bowl of cereal?).  However, the pores in the cereal make it almost gritty and sharp while chewing; my gums flinched each time I raised the spoon.

So was it worth it?

At $3.50+ per box, with only 9 servings per box, this stuff definitely isn't an economic choice for breakfast.  Curiously, I found myself snacking on it straight from the box and enjoying it more this way.  I would recommend this for cinnamon lovers who feel Cinnamon Toast Crunch is too mild, but otherwise there is nothing else that would lead me to write angry letters to Kellogg's once they pull this novelty cereal from the shelves.

Final Grade: C+

Note: Kellogg's also offers Cinnabon cereal bars and pancakes.